Oooooooo that glorious seven-layer cookie my mother perfected over the years. Its chocolatey, coconutty, butterscotchy, graham crackery, nutty, mushy-crumbly-moistness is killer on the thighs, but these days, who gives a toss? These wonderful bits of scrumminess were/are only concocted during the holidays, of course, when one (I think) is supremely silly if he or she … Continue reading
Monthly Archives: July 2014
The Forgotten Women of the Wastelands
I’m INSANELY, pee-in-the-pants excited at the upcoming Mad Max: Fury Road movie, a film that’s been staggeringly difficult to put together. I’ve been a fan of Max Rockatansky’s survivalist exploits since I was twelve, back when Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome was a hit. I’d seen Mad Max, both the ridiculous dubbed version (thanks to panicky … Continue reading
The Profession That Makes One Batty.
I am an English teacher at a small public college. Okay, I’ve been told my title is that of a “professor.” It’s even on my business cards the school made for me. But I tell my students every term that I feel I haven’t truly earned the title simply because I’ve not earned a … Continue reading
Agatha Alebard Becomes Jayne’s Mentor (a future excerpt)
The city tonight was a suffocating wet sheet. The rain wasn’t about to let me go any further, blinding me, a rolling, organic curtain of water blocking me from the front entrance. No matter. I’d worn my boots, the ones that often land me in a predicament anyhow, involving anything at anytime, anywhere, … Continue reading
Middle Class Dipshittiness in My Neighborhood
While I’m primarily home during the humid-hellish months of summer, I do my best to escape on what little money I have. I’ll do anything — I’ll drive to a cafe and write, go to the library and find books on publishing, sit in the park for ten minutes before the melanoma and … Continue reading
Kicks on 66.
(just outside of Sedona, AZ, Summer 2011) Back in the summer of 2011, my mom and I hit the road from Santa Fe to the Grand Canyon, making a few overnight stops along the way. She had been before, but I hardly knew the West as she did. During our trip, we had to … Continue reading
My Mister Sisters.
I’m baffled by the term “best friend,” as if true friendship could be measured or compared. Friends, to me, are those whose company we genuinely enjoy, whose interests match our own, but they are also the people we find absolutely loyal. As it is, I have a number of friends whom I adore and would do virtually anything … Continue reading
An Email I Will Never Send.
(photo taken on Palace Ave, Santa Fe) Last email from my mom on 6/27/12 at 1:26 in the morning. (I was planning on visiting in a little over a week): DEAR BEEBLE BEEBLE BEEBLE (wheedle wheedle wheedle) Could you pretty pretty please tie up Grandmas and Grandpas canes in a bundle and bring them? If … Continue reading
“I Want to Beat Up Peter McKay.”
My mother used to remind me of something I purportedly said when I was just old enough to get up every morning on my own, open up a can of Spaghetti-O’s, dump its gloppy contents into a bowl from the cabinet, and settle down to eat in front of the TV for Sesame … Continue reading
Melty Dolls in Floor-ee-dah
“Will my doll melt in Floor-ee-dah?” It had only been a few minutes since I’d delved back into the novel I’d been reading. The little one in the seat next to mine — shiny gold curls, wide sunny eyes, pert freckled nose — had already asked several questions about the exotic locale she … Continue reading