Education / Work



Let me get on the record here by stating that I absolutely detest Bertrude.

Bertrude (aka Betrude the Rude, the Bertinator, Bertie Wertie, Bertrash, Bertroomhilda) is my office PC. She’s like the worst possible colleague one could have in academia.

She is…

stubborn (refuses to do what is asked of her because “her” way is the “right” way)…

unfriendly (shuts down whenever she feels like it)…

elitist (has her lackeys — the IT guys — brainwashed into thinking Apple products are for hipsters lacking a brain simply because they cannot take Apple products apart)…

sickly (often comes down with viruses)…

antiquated (all of her command functions are circa 1988, and she doesn’t like accepting updates even though she nags me about updates every damn day)…

sluggish (takes about 15 minutes to boot up)…

...spoiled (a space freakabsolutely must take up at least half of the entirety of my desktop and leaves little room for my legs underneath)…

whiny (bitches at me when I don’t change my password or accept Adobe installations while I’m working)…

… and flat-out careless (files just mysteriously vanish under her care).

After a day of dealing with Bertrude the Rude, I’m grateful to come home to Agatha the Apple. She’s never let me down.

Although…sometimes…I think she secretly wants to be a Bertrude when she grows up.

3 thoughts on “Bertrude.

  1. Oh dear, I don’t know whether to be worried or relieved that there are other people out there who also name their machinery 🙂 Bertha and Bob are actually family names for ‘things’ in our house! Really enjoyed reading your post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! I never thought about naming any sort of machinery, ever, but this prompt forced me into confessing that “Bertrude” is, most definitely, the name of my office computer. I still don’t know her last name, and I suppose it would be important to learn since she’s in higher ed. However, I just don’t care about her last name.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Introducing Bertram, Bertrude’s BFF. (Uncensored) | This, On Purpose

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