A list of excuses over the past few weeks. I’ve unfortunately had to suffer through all of them because What Else Is New…?
I was out of town over Thanksgiving, so I didn’t know!
I didn’t have email where I was, so I didn’t know!
We have WHAT due on Wednesday?? I didn’t know!
You mean we have to cite EVERYTHING we used in our paper? I didn’t know!
HOW many pages did it have to be?? I didn’t know!
I wasn’t in class on Monday. What did I miss? I missed WHAT? But…But I didn’t know!
We have a final essay in class, too? I didn’t know!
I’m failing?? What assignments? I didn’t know!
Plagiarized? I have a Works Cited page! What do you mean, “citations in my paper”? But…But I didn’t know!
I’m not allowed to use my sister and cousin as sources?? I didn’t know!
What MLA citation quiz? There was a quiz?? I didn’t know!
I can’t write about legalizing pot? What “forbidden topics” list? I didn’t know!
My family’s leaving for vacation, but we’re reviewing our rough drafts then…? I didn’t know!
THAT was 25% of my grade?? I didn’t know!
What are your office hours? They’re on the syllabus? I didn’t know!
How do I check out a book from the library? No, I didn’t know!
What’s a database? (I didn’t know!)
We had to submit WHAT by WHEN?? (*practically screeching* I. DIDN’T. KNOW!)
But I have citations AND a Works Cited page, so how did I plagiarize? Summarizing? Paraphrasing? I just copied what they wrote! I didn’t know!
What syllabus? (Hey, I didn’t know!)
On the bright side, my dad was kind enough to leave the rest of the bottle of Bombay Sapphire and a bit of vermouth behind. I think I may have olives left, too.
This, On Purpose 
This is hilarious! I recall using a few of those in my student days. 😃
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Haha. I think for students these days, a false sense of ignorance is bliss…until they’re caught.
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I think that goes for adults too. Just look at politicians! 😃
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Indeed. It’s like…denial, denial, denial.
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Absolutely. Didn’t do it until you can prove I did it. Until then, I don’t know what you’re talkin about! 😃
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I’ve been trained to have a paper trail. Been quite good at it, grade records, absentee records and all.
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Wise on your part. Most students aren’t that diligent though.
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What happened to the dog ate it or my younger sibling stole it (my sister actually used that one. She also told a teacher that I was having surgery once…wishful thinking on her part as well as an excuse)? Little did they know that their endless stream of excuses while maybe frustrating for you would be funny reading for the rest of us.
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Oh, I’ve had the surgery (and even worse, dying) bullshit before. In fact, I’ve two girls in my night class, “besties,” this term who’ve tried to milk the string of family-related deaths to their advantage (I also saw them giggling like mad together in the hall– obviously grieving).
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From just ONE student this semester I’ve gotten:
1. I can’t afford the workbook (after I told students that the library copy would only be there for the first two weeks).
2. I’ve been sick.
3. I was absent because I was homeless this last week.
4. I was absent because I tried to commit suicide.
I definitely think that the student has some complications in her life. But when she failed to bring me documentation of her hospital stay for the suicide attempt (so she could turn in some work late), I began to question the veracity of all the rest of her excuses.
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You know how it goes, Soon Ah…”I didn’t know!”
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“I’m not allowed to use my sister and cousin as sources??”
I love this one! Hahahaha!
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It’s one I won’t forget. Student is writing a paper on the work-related difficulties nurses face on a daily basis. Cousin was once an RN. Sister is a receptionist at a doctor’s office. Even if they had (/still) been working in the profession, student doesn’t particularly understand the value of ethical research and what primary sources are.
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Hilarious!
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I take it the students are giving you a hard time 😦
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Every term towards the end, yep. It’ll be over soon, only to start all over again.
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How long have you been a teacher ?
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Total? Around 19 years. Been teaching at the college level for 12 years.
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That’s a long time ! I’m sure you heard every story in sight.
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I have, indeed, but they keep a-comin’. Here’s a doozy, btw, one that a colleague/friend of mine received yesterday: (after submitting her paper to the plagiarism checker site Turnitin.com — “I wanted to know how much plagiarism are we allowed to have. I have 27 percent.” (What? None?? I didn’t know!)
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Haha! That’s hilarious. Students these days, unbelievable did they think they can get away with anything ?
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I told myself, later, “It will be over soon.” and “This, too, will pass.” It did, 49 years. Then retirement. But what do I miss most? colleagues and preparations for classes. What do I miss least? “Please stop texting.” And so it goes. I never, thankfully, had a suicide in all my years. Though I have had my share of “My wife was having a baby.” Thanks for the memories, of a time not-so-long-ago. FIN= 4 May 2012 as adjunct; “official” full time = 8 August 2003. It’s been a long, long time it seems.
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Yep, births are popular…as is texting in class. I think I mentioned this in another entry elsewhere that I had a class once where everyone kept texting, and I just walked out of the class, leaving them to their phone convos. The next class period, they were awfully polite and well-behaved, their cell phones stashed away. When I retire…eventually…I won’t miss this at all. Like you though, I will miss colleagues/friends and prep…and the nice classes where everyone seemed genuinely engaged in what we were doing.
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