Apologies in advance for the heteronormative pronoun use here as this is addressed primarily in response to a specific essay/piece.
Oh, my good sir, where does one begin with the likes of you? Like so many, so curious, I read your little opinion piece over the weekend because the title of which, “Why I’ll Never Date a Feminist,” is pure clickbait gold (Go, you!). You’ve really stirred the pot then, haven’t you, you sneaky-cheeky?
That said, never have I seen such a slapdash series of sweeping generalizations and assumptions put together — none of which has anything to do with your hyperlinked researched bits and pieces, so you can put that concern aside (however, do keep in mind that NOTHING produced by the American Enterprise Institute is a nonbiased resource as the AEI is a conservative think tank). It has more to do with your perception of a movement as a whole.
I don’t blame you necessarily as the culture is rife with negativity towards a movement designed to equalize women and their standing in society, one that seems to be sending so many bros afraid for the loss of their advertised masculinity, stature, and overall privilege running for the hills.
Anyway, I’m here now to persuade you to consider otherwise, to convince you some way, somehow, that it may be beneficial for you to date a feminist.
Before I go into those reasons, let me clarify what a feminist is NOT. A feminist is not a man-hater by any stretch of the imagination. That particular subculture belongs to a brand of extremists, simply put misandrists, sort of a gender reversal of misogynists so let’s just mutually agree to do away with that ridiculousness on both sides of the spectrum, shall we? Crazy does not belong in the discussion as it encourages hatred and gross misrepresentation of something meant to benefit everyone.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to those reasons as to why you should, at the very least, consider dating a feminist:
You will have her respect. She chose to converse with you. She knows when a man is her intellectual and social equal and also is aware you know in kind. Keep in mind she wouldn’t be with you otherwise, so you must be a cool catch, smart and savvy.
She is a great debater and will keep you on your toes. Why on earth would anyone want to engage in lively discourse with a person who doesn’t challenge him or her? Granted, there may be moments when neither of you can come to a common consensus on an issue, but isn’t that part of the human condition anyway? You both are smart enough to recognize that you’re free to disagree. If it happens routinely, then maybe neither of you were a match to begin with, were you?
She appreciates gentlemen (she really does, despite what naysayers may have you believe), but she isn’t hesitant to pick up the tab. This one’s a bit tricky since social norms have us virtually memorize and then practice the “rules” of dating etiquette. What does one do when dating in the 21st century exactly? She earns her own money after all. That said, there has to be a strong balance of both etiquette and understanding. There’s always the (varying) contemporary standby rule of etiquette when dating: Initially, whoever asked the other out probably ought to pay. However, generosity can certainly be expressed when out for the first time. It never hurts to show another that sort of graciousness. After the first date when such hesitancy seems no longer necessary (obviously, you were comfortable the first time around), it’s easier to fluctuate between the two of you as to who gets the check.
Speaking of money, she isn’t interested in yours. She is with you because of you. She doesn’t give a toss about your earnings, stock portfolio, property investments, and so forth. After all, she’s building her own. Now if finances is your area of expertise, she may likely ask for your advice, but she’s not a golddigger.
(Of course if you’re deliberately jobless and actually take pride in living in your parents’ basement, she probably wants nothing to do with you, but you ought to know she’s not alone in her low opinion of you. It’s time to garner some semblance of self-respect, guy)
She can take care of her own shit, so when she asks for your help, she means it. There’s nothing worse than dating someone who seems to need assistance for the pettiest of tasks. When a feminist needs you to assist, she really does, and whatever it is that’s causing her difficulty, it’s undoubtedly quite an undertaking. She has called on you to help her with a challenge. You. Think about that.
And vice versa. She’s more than willing to assist you with a challenge as well.
She will empathize with your injustices. An authentic feminist believes in equality and fairness after all. What better person to have in your court when you’re undergoing a custody battle or a harassment suit, for instance? She understands that these issues aren’t limited to a particular gender. She is more than aware that men can be abused, assaulted, harassed, and raped, and she will fight for you.
When you get to this point, you’ll find that she isn’t shy about sharing what works for her (and what doesn’t) in bed, and she will expect you to do the same. (Have fun with that!)
Again, sir, these are just some points to ponder before you take your own (foolhardy) advice. If you choose to follow the throng in finding a particular brand of Stepford woman, by all means, but fair warning:
You’re in for a dull ride.