Twitter For the Desperate.

This happened a little while ago. Random guy follows me on Twitter. I check out his profile page. We’ve politics in common, seemingly so. Because of this, I follow back.

Direct Message “chat” goes as follows:


Random Guy: How are you doing?

Me: Relatively well. You?

Random Guy: I’m fine thanks. I’m XXXXXX XXXX from Houston Texas.

Me: I’m Kenzie. What brings you to Twitter?

Random Guy: Nothing special….I’m in a search.


 Is he in a search for the meaning of life, the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, a talisman to ward off evil…? Maybe he means he keeps coming up in a search? What do I ask?


Me: What does that mean? Are you being searched?

Random Guy: No… In a search of something special

Me: ?

Random Guy: Never mind. Where are you from?


He means “someone special.” I see. JFC. Does he realize he’s just not all that mysterious as he wants to be?


Me: Born in Chicago, living now in FL. You might try Match or OKCupid if you’re looking for that sort of thing. I don’t use Twitter for it.

Random Guy: Smiles.


 “Smiles”? Say what? Does he not know what the hell an emoji is?


Random Guy: Why can’t you be calm so we can chat


Oh, my sweet summer manchild, you have done it now.


Random Guy: Nobody knows what tomorrow might bring.


Unfollow. Blocked.

Abrupt End of Discussion.

(Now you know what tomorrow brings, bruh.)





2 thoughts on “Twitter For the Desperate.

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