This happened a little while ago. Random guy follows me on Twitter. I check out his profile page. We’ve politics in common, seemingly so. Because of this, I follow back.
Direct Message “chat” goes as follows:
Random Guy: How are you doing?
Me: Relatively well. You?
Random Guy: I’m fine thanks. I’m XXXXXX XXXX from Houston Texas.
Me: I’m Kenzie. What brings you to Twitter?
Random Guy: Nothing special….I’m in a search.
Is he in a search for the meaning of life, the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, a talisman to ward off evil…? Maybe he means he keeps coming up in a search? What do I ask?
Me: What does that mean? Are you being searched?
Random Guy: No… In a search of something special
Me: ?
Random Guy: Never mind. Where are you from?
He means “someone special.” I see. JFC. Does he realize he’s just not all that mysterious as he wants to be?
Me: Born in Chicago, living now in FL. You might try Match or OKCupid if you’re looking for that sort of thing. I don’t use Twitter for it.
Random Guy: Smiles.
“Smiles”? Say what? Does he not know what the hell an emoji is?
Random Guy: Why can’t you be calm so we can chat
Oh, my sweet summer manchild, you have done it now.
Random Guy: Nobody knows what tomorrow might bring.
Unfollow. Blocked.
Abrupt End of Discussion.
(Now you know what tomorrow brings, bruh.)
This, On Purpose 
Hi.. good to see you back. I take it the guy had a reasonable-seeming twitter timeline then despite being so cringey in dm?
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Hi! Yeah, his timeline seemed pretty…normal (?). No signs of being a jerk.
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